It is never too late, you can always recover [NQM028]

“You have to push yourself into these zones of discomfort from time to time so you can deal with the hard times when they come. If you have never been put in these areas of discomfort, you are going to get crushed when they come because you are not going to be ready.“ – Navy LT Jason Redman

Jason Redman has crawled his way up from the deepest and darkest holes of depression, self-doubt, and victimhood. He suffered catastrophic failures as a young Navy Seal leader, and was in an extended downward spiral by the time he pressed a pistol to his own head. Through persistence and invaluable leadership and mentorship he instead pulled the trigger on rebounding his career and started to regain the trust and respect of his peers. That road to recovery was interrupted by an ambush during a raid in Iraq in 2007. After being shot 8 times including taking a bullet to the face, and 4 years of surgeries later, he was medically retired. He has since continued on his road of recovery and slightly refocused his mission to helping others realize that it is never too late, you can always recover.

Jason has written three books, The Trident, Overcome, and the pointman planner. He started the non profit Combat Wounded Coalition and speaks to thousands of people every year about the enabling values of the overcome mindset. He effectively relates his experiences in the US military to scenarios any person can find themselves in through the term “life ambush”. He emphasizes the concept of “getting of the X”. The X is the point at which the ambush, whether that it physical, emotional, intellectual etc., is most intense. A lot of freeze and never get off the X, instead focusing on the pain, misery and stress. We tend to focus on the past, the path we travelled to get to the X. While we do all that, we continue to take a beating until we eventually break. This message is so effective, that he turned Get of the X into a successful coaching business.

Jason symbolized that mindset with a note he wrote and subsequently had hang on his door at Bethesda Naval Medical Center. This note, pictured in the cover photo for this entry went viral in 2007 and has been referenced in many other works. The note reads:

                Attention: To all who enter here. If you are coming in to this room with sorrow or to feel sorry for my wounds, go elsewhere. The wounds I received I got in a job I love doing, for people I love, supporting the freedoms of a country I deeply love. I am incredibly tough and will make a full recovery. What is full? That is the absolute utmost physically my body has the ability to recover. Then I will push that about 20% further through sheer mental tenacity. This room you are about to enter is a room of fun, optimism, and intense rapid regrowth. If you are not prepared for that, go elsewhere. From: the management.

Those who are acutely aware of the stories about the ultimate sacrifice some of our men & women in uniform have made and will continue to make often live by the code to “live a life worthy of their sacrifice”. In a similar light, it would be an extreme waste if we do not listen to those that lived to tell the tale. Their experiences form invaluable lessons for all of us, lessons that will make us better. Jason has been extremely proactive in sharing his message for the greater good, not only through his books and public talks, but also through podcast form. The Team Never Quit guys and Jocko & Echo once again provided an awesome product that is chockfull of valuable life lessons anyone, regardless of military background or not, can relate to.

The hardest journey he has ever had to navigate: A lot of people talk to me about my firefight and getting shot in the face and the 4 years of surgeries to follow. But the hardest journey I ever went through that has forged the never quit mindset was my failure as a young leader. It was the mistakes I made and not owning those mistakes at that time, and really pushing back against them. This is a common theme I see when people go through life ambushes, they don’t take responsibility and instead place blame on others.

Hitting rock bottom and putting a pistol against his head: To have your teammates say, “I don’t want to work with that guy”, that is about the lowest blow you can take. I remember when I got to the lowest of lows in Afghanistan, I went back to my room and I had all my combat gear ready to go. I sat down in my chair, and part of me willed my hand to raise the pistol firmly to my temple. I thought that was the answer. My life is over, there is nothing left.

Regaining respect and trust: This was the start of my long and hard journey back. Just because you change your behavior after you have messed up, doesn’t mean people will just accept you back right away. It’s only through sustained superior performance and time that you can earn back that trust and respect. When I got wounded, I thought well this sucks, but I have been through worse. This will not be as hard as climbing out of that deep dark hole of putting a pistol to my head.

People will follow you if you give them a reason to: Somewhere between Afghanistan and Fort Benning Georgia I had lost my overcome mindset. The Colonel calls up Captain Peterson, and hands me the phone. I told him “Sir I have messed up to much, I lost my credibility with the guys, and now I am about to get kicked out of Ranger School, the guys will never follow me again after all this”. He said to me: People will follow you if you give them a reason to. Go back out there and crush that course and come back to the Seal Teams and give them a reason to follow you.

On the benefit of humble tasks: Since I had quit, I had to wait a month to join up with the next class. I picked up trash for that entire month all over Fort Benning. It was during that month I finally broke through and started to humble myself. I was just going to take things one evolution at a time. That was the start of a leadership journey I am on to this day. I remain a student to this day because it changes every day.

Own your mistakes from the start: If I had owned it in that moment, it wouldn’t have been as bad as it was. The mere fact that I planted my flag in that spot and refused to take responsibility for my own mistakes, that is what turned the fire into a raging inferno.

On the total breakdown of emotional leadership: I allowed this to happen by not managing myself. I was like a pressure cooker waiting to pop off. Instead of managing it, recognizing it and come to grips with it, I didn’t. It just manifested itself in that moment I failed the land nav course because of my own arrogance, and allowed those instructors to get under my skin. I had quit Ranger School and thought that is was the end of my career, this was the final straw, no one is ever going to want to follow me again.

On recovery: You can recover. You control your destiny and your future. You can earn back the respect of the guys if you give them something to respect, if your actions demand respect.

Weakness manifests in bad times: you truly have to know yourself. Your weaknesses manifests itself in the hardest of times. They don’t come out in the good times. The only way you can manage that is through mental and emotional leadership at the highest level.

On how leaders grow: I could not change my decision, but I should have owned it in its aftermath. I should have listened to those with more experience, take my lumps, and move forward. That is how leaders grow. I was so desperate to justify and defend my actions I lost sight of what I was there to do.

On what makes you a leader: Rank does not automatically make you a leader. Your character makes you a leader. Your actions make you a leader. Your rank is almost irrelevant. After years of selfish focus on myself I finally had understood what it meant to lead men of this caliber.

Taking stock of the damage: I was so weak from the amount of blood loss I needed nurses to help me go to the bathroom. The very first thing I woke to was doctors telling me they were going to have to amputate my arm. I had no use of my hand. I had not seen myself in the mirror either. My face was blown apart. I lost my nose and cheekbone. The bullet hit me right in front of the ear, travelled through the right side of my face and exited on the right side of my nose. It vaporized my orbital floor so my eye dropped down in the newfound hole in my face. It broke my jaw to my chin.

Focus on the future: You can’t go back and change the past. What happened happened. The only thing you can do is shape the future. I thought back to my broken past, from being a guy that was ready to kill himself, to where I got just before the injury. The only thing you can do from here is shape the future, so get off the X and go.

Push yourself into discomfort from time to time: You have to push yourself into these zones of discomfort from time to time so you can deal with the hard times when they come. If you have never been put in these areas of discomfort, you are going to get crushed when they come because you are not going to be ready.

On using perspective: There were men and women in the complex that were far worse wounded than I was. Missing limbs, burned, suffering brain trauma or eyesight loss. I was grateful for what I had.

On making your choice: It is a choice. you can choose to be a victim and get stuck in a rut, or choose to be a victor and drive forward. Even if you don’t believe it in the moment, it doesn’t matter, say it, live it, and start driving forward. And that believe with start catching fire within you and everyone around you.

On Ryan Job: After getting shot in the face, he lost his vision in both eyes. The prospect of living the rest of his life blind had to be terrifying, though he never showed it. Instead he announced that if we had to be blind, he would be the best damn blind man there was.

Nothing is guaranteed in life: Ryan’s death reminded me that nothing is guaranteed in life. It can be taken away in a hard beat. The life you build can be taken away in an instance through factors far beyond your control. You either adapt and overcome or become a casualty of those twists of fate. I refused to be a casualty again.